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Conversations with Queen Latifa and Free Carbs

March 10, 2011

Yeah you read that right.  Free carbs.

More specifically, a free mini-loaf of Oatmeal Poppy Seed Vanilla bread from Great Harvest Bakery.

My plan for the afternoon had just been a free bang trim at Headmasters then putting my two weeks in at work (sidenote: YAY!), which would’ve sufficed for an awesome day all on it’s own. But the universe stepped in and said:

Janie...this free bread is for YOU

“Hellll no gurrrl.” (Because in a perfect world…if Morgan Freeman is the voice of God, then Queen Latifah would be the voice of the universe.) “You think you gonna just get a free bang trim and quit yo job?  Not if there’s anything I can do about it.  Helll, I’m gonna give you free bread too!”

And then the clouds parted and doves flew around my head as the angel of bread handed me the perfect loaf of bread which I nestled upon my bosom as Morgan Freeman and Queen Latifah smiled down upon me.

But it doesn’t end there: Free edamame appetizer at dinner…buy one get one free english muffins at the grocery store.

It was like the Universe aka Queen Latifah was saying:

“You know how you forgot to pay yo rent on time and your landlord didn’t call you until you was two days into late fees and so you had to pay an extra $30 dollars?  Well, Morgan and I feel bad ’bout that so we decided to throw a bunch a free stuff yo way.  You go guurl!”

To which I reply: “Queen Latifah, I LOVE YOU.  And despite what rotten tomatoes says, you were awesome in Beauty Shop.”

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. March 10, 2011 7:53 pm

    You’re hilarious. Glad you’re having a good week! 🙂

  2. Irene permalink
    March 11, 2011 9:36 pm

    Aw, I love this post, Janie! It made me laugh so much! Can’t wait to read more! 🙂

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