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Take a seat, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride…I hope!

April 19, 2011

I’ve been at my new job for almost a month now.  A month.

In this month I have gotten used to waking up early, packing my lunchbox, and wearing khakis every. single. day.  I’m getting accustomed to going to meetings, responding to emails asap, and making post-its my new favorite accessory.  I’m getting comfortable.

And if I’ve learned anything growing up, it’s that comfortable is easy and without worries…but that’s not necessarily a good thing.

I had a comfortable childhood.  I had a comfortable time in high school.  I even had a comfortable time in college.  And while I am deeply thankful  that I never had to suffer much hardship or difficulty, it is when I was uncomfortable that I felt myself grow, reach for bigger dreams, and want more.

When I moved into my own apartment.  When I experienced my first heartbreak.  When I met a teacher that actually made me work for my grade.  When I studied abroad in Germany and learned to be alone with myself.  When I spent two summers without Austin and learned the meaning of commitment and love.  When I pushed myself through my first race.  When I didn’t get the job(s).

It’s these moments that shook the solid ground I stood on, made me lose my breath, tripped me and forced me to get up with skinned knees, crazy-eyed and determined to kick some major ass.

And now I’ve gone from kicking ass to planting my ass on the couch after work and watching Dancing with the Stars with my dad.  And I don’t even like that show.

You might say, “Janie, don’t be so hard on yourself.  You haven’t even been at your new job for a month.  Take a break from all this dream-career searching and learning and relax.”

And I do relax, and I know that watching Dancing With the Stars is not a designation of your dreams dying, but I am scared.  I am scared that I will get comfortable and one month will turn into one year, and one year will turn into one decade, and one decade will turn into one million years.  (You never know, ok?)

Austin sent me this article on The Secret of Sustainable Passion and I’m so glad that he did.  The article is an amazing reminder that the key to success is not just passion, but commitment.  It is commitment that gets you through those moments where passion seems to falter, waiver, or disappear with being comfortable.

It reminded me that if I want to go back to graduate school.  If I want to pursue environmental planning.  If I want to become a half-marathon runner and have a vegetable garden and be fluent in Chinese and get a dog with Austin, then I’m going to have to stay committed to those dreams.

I can’t let the temptation of knowing what tomorrow will bring, coasting through my life, and Kirstie Alley shimmying in sequins stop me.

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